Who Should Learn Iron Crotch

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Iron Crotch: The Kung Fu Master Who Can Pull a Truck With His Privates

How practise you get the nickname "Atomic number 26 Crotch"? Well, Tu Jin-Sheng can pull a truck tied to his cock and balls. That is certainly not all there is to the man—far from it. Master Tu, as he is known to his friends and students, is a multifaceted, multitalented human being. He has a laundry list of skills, hobbies, and interests at which he excels. He is a martial arts instructor and a painter. He'due south likewise a musician who tin give virtuoso performances on the Chinese stringed harp.

Master Tu teaches yoga and Chinese medicine. He can also hold forth on whatsoever number of intellectual subjects and topics of the day. He designs his own clothes and his sartorial tastes would seem to indicate a lifelong love of '70s Blaxploitation films. And although that concluding part is only conjecture, he undeniably sports a hell of a lot of badass leather ensembles that would look right at home on the shoulders of Super Fly or Shaft.

But, just to be clear, Tu Jin-Sheng can pull a truck tied to his cock and balls. It's for that insane flake of kung fu badassery that he has become world famous and has earned the nickname "The Fe Crotch."

The Legend of Fe Crotch

According to Primary Tu, it only makes sense to train the penis and testicles to perform awesome acts of kung fu mightiness. He states: "We train our fists, feet and shins to suspension boards and bricks so that we tin deliver devastating strikes! We railroad train our muscles to exist strong, and we practise cardiovascular do for endurance, power and, of course, good health! Why not train the reproductive organs as well? Why should the nearly important function of a man's beefcake remain soft and unconditioned?"

The self-defense benefits of becoming immune to a boot to the balls are fairly obvious. Master Tu oft gives demonstrations in which he calmly explains Iron Crotch practice and theory; all that while a volunteer repeatedly kicks him in the 'nads as hard equally they tin can. Nevertheless, the sexual benefits of Iron Crotch qigong preparation are far more than valuable to a human'due south everyday life.

"Old in his 30s, a human being reaches a sexual meridian, after which his hormone product decreases and his reproductive organs showtime to shrink. Later twoscore, the 'equipment' actually starts to shrink, a man's full general wellness declines, and he gets slower," Master Tu says. "Qigong kung fu masters realized this and developed a method to prolong the acme of the reproductive period that also keeps the heed sharp, so you tin continue learning new things. Then, with Fe Crotch training, y'all tin can increment your penis ability and brain power together!"

Training for the iron crotch. — (Photo by Master Tu)

Mighty Prick, Might Mind!

Naturally, ane must wonder how this works. How does one railroad train to develop a prepare of wedding tackle that will damn near deflect bullets? Well, much like any type of exercise, first seek the advice of a physician before starting any new strenuous activeness … Particularly WHEN It INVOLVES YOUR PENIS! Secondly, start wearisome and preferably under the tutelage of a skilled, experienced and knowledgeable professional person … Specially WHEN It INVOLVES YOUR PENIS!

When y'all are ready, Chief Tu will be happy to sell y'all 1 of his instructional videos, books, etc. Seriously, simply go to MasterTu.com. But for now, here is a little taste (ugh, deplorable) to satisfy your curiosity.

Fe Crotch qigong preparation by and large involves a combination of meditation, focused animate, Chinese herbal concoctions, and direct stimulation of the penis and testicles. This stimulation begins with light self-massage, which actually sounds similar fun! It then proceeds to "pummeling," which is the slapping around of one's junk with controlled just increasing forcefulness; this sounds infinitely less fun.

Hung Fu

Ultimately, Iron Crotch qigong adepts tie a soft piece of cloth in a figure-eight pattern around the old custard cannon and attach the other end to a metallic T-bar. They use it to squat and lift steel plates similar bodybuilders do when deadlifting at the gym. I'yard not kidding. Main Tu and his students regularly requite demonstrations of lifting 200-, 300- and even 400-pound stacks of plates that virtually guys at Gold'southward Gym would struggle to printing off their chests, much less pick up with their basics.

Don't believe united states? Take a look at the accompanying pictures. Those are real. And lest you think that at that place is some sort of sleight-of-hand (or "sleight-of-something") trickery involved, remainder assured that this lensman got a WAYYY closer look at the whole "knotted-twig-and-two-prunes" arrangement than he wanted to. But the Fe Crotch practitioners insisted, and I didn't want to be rude.

So, how does a student of Iron Crotch qigong progress from lifting weights with his 1-eyed wonder worm to towing trucks with his Activeness Jackson? Pure genius and showmanship, apparently. The simple truth that Tu Jin-Sheng can pull a truck tied to his dick has made him the nigh famous qigong kung fu master in the earth. In fact, he is fifty-fifty more widely known than that "other" Fe Crotch master featured in Matthew Polly's acknowledged martial arts autobiography,American Shaolin; the perfectly named Chief Dong. No, seriously. Look it up. Master Dong. We're non fifty-fifty kidding.

Jumbo Junk

When last we spoke, Master Tu was working on getting permission from Taiwanese aviation officials for something big. What could he be doing now? Well, he wants to run across if they'll allow him and two of his top students to ready a new globe record by pulling a passenger jet down a runway tied to—you guessed information technology—their mighty Iron Crotches. We and the residue of the world look in eager anticipation to see these titans of testicular fortitude evidence their stuff, so to speak. In a globe fraught with ever-increasing feminization, information technology is nice to run across that a swinging dick and a set of solid contumely assurance can notwithstanding allow a homo to movement mountains … or, y'all know, at to the lowest degree motion a truck. And maybe a big plane, if some of his buddies pitch in.